By Lee Sullivan
Random Writers Topic: Write about whether I ask enough questions or if I settle for what I know.
This week’s topic is to write about whether I ask enough questions or if I settle for what I know. I laughed out loud when I read this topic. Anyone who knows me is laughing right now, too. Not only do I ask enough questions, I can be quite obnoxious to those who happen to be the target of my inquisitive nature. As it turns out, I actually had an experience just this week which proves my point.
I recently had an abnormality show up on my yearly routine mammogram. The doctor ordered a more specialized mammogram and if the spot was showing up again, then I would need a sonogram. Sure enough, moments after the advanced squishing and squeezing was over, the technician directed me to the room where the sonogram would be performed. I have to admit just how scary an experience it was to watch the image of this irregularly shaped object deep within my breast appear again and again on the black and white monitor beside me. The technician took what seemed like hundreds of images and measured the dark void every which way she could. They finished up and sent me on my way with the guidance that my doctor would contact me in a few days with the results.
Tuesday rolled around and I resisted the urge to call my doctor. However, the results were waiting for me in an envelope when I got home. I anxiously ripped it open to read “…showed no evidence of cancer” blah blah blah. I should have been jumping up and down with joy, but all I could think was, “How do they KNOW?”
I called my doctor first thing Wednesday morning to learn they had not received the results, but would call as soon as they did. Of course, it was hours later before my doctor’s nurse called to tell me they had my results and “everything was normal”. I should have said thank you and goodbye at that point but my brain just doesn’t function like that at all. Not at all.
I asked her the previous question that rolled around in my head. “How do they know that it’s nothing to worry about?” And then the barrage of other questions just kept coming and that poor nurse never knew what hit her. After stumbling to address my questions and concerns, she finally read me the radiologist report, word for word. Then the ‘what does that mean’ questions began. I finally ended the conversation but felt very little relief with the results. Don’t get me wrong. I trust the radiologist’s assessment of the test. But, I will not feel better until I understand what they see now that was different from a week ago when ‘further testing is needed’ was the result. How do they KNOW? I would even love to know what the statistics are of the women who were told “everything is normal” but who later developed breast cancer while no one was watching. I have an appointment with my General Practitioner next week. Someone should call and warn her. I need answers to my questions and I will not stop until I feel that someone has adequately answered them.
I have never just accepted things that people tell me. Never. I was once responsible for changing a corporate HR policy because I kept asking “Why is it that way?” When no one could answer me, they just changed the policy. I have even been guilty of throwing out a resounding “WHY?” or “What now?” to God on more than one occasion. I’m that person who gets lots of free and discounted things simply because I asked for them, or because I asked “Why not?” when given a response of “No”.
I don’t know why I ask so many questions. I wonder if it’s simply an inability to trust or if it’s a thirst for knowledge. I think, maybe it’s a little or a lot of both. I know it drives my husband crazy at times. It’s also pretty darn frustrating for me when people who should know the answers aren’t able to provide them. This is especially true when dealing with the corporate world or some company’s customer service department. I’ve actually been told by lots of different people that I missed my true calling in life as a Private Investigator. I do tend to agree with this.
What it boils down to is that I believe we can never have too much knowledge. My bosses, my doctors, my teachers, my friends, and my family will all just have to accept that I’ll be the one asking the ‘why’ and ‘why not’ ad nauseam. Well, at least until I’ve been given all the answers possible or at least to my satisfaction.