I changed my mind. I did. It’s true.
Today’s Random Writers prompt was to write about something that you once felt strongly about but no longer do. Simplified, it’s to write about something you changed your mind about.
This time last week, I was sick and tired. Quite literally. Totally spent from jet lag and a hard trip to Europe and I was starring down the barrel of a loaded gun. A gun loaded with Argentina. A Global Village trip to Buenos Aires with Habitat for Humanity.
Only days after returning from Europe, I was repacking my bag and passport and heading out on a redeye with 9 of my work friends and my dad to spend a week working on Habitat homes in Argentina.
But I wasn’t exactly happy about it. In fact, this time last week, the thought of this trip quite literally made me cry. I was too tired, too stressed, and too self-involved.
As we waited on the Tarmac in Miami, for what seemed like forever, I sat there wondering why in the hell I had put myself through this. What ever made me think I could do these two trips back to back? How silly was it to think, “It’ll be hard but you only live once”?
I questioned God, believing that I had heard Him telling me to go on both trips. But as we waited to take off, all I could think about was how badly I wished I could just go home.
So, I prayed.
I prayed that God would change my heart. I prayed that my attitude would change and not be apparent to my friends and family that I would be spending my week with. I prayed that God would use me despite my head being inserted up my hiney.
When we arrived, I accepted that I was here. Accepted the less than cushy accommodations, and about a day later accepted the fact that I was an idiot.
This trip is the opportunity of a lifetime. A gift and a blessing and all I could focus my energy on was the negative aspects surrounding it rather the positives.
By Sunday, I realized how wrong I truly was. I hadn’t been in country 24 hours before I was overwhelmed with the sense of not only how truly blessed I am in all aspects of my life, but also how I knew that this trip would not only be a life changer but a major blessing as well.
Over the last year, I’ve learned to be more aware of the ways in which God uses me. Generally, the world around us tells us that “being used” is a bad thing. It means we’ve been taken advantage of, or, for granted in general. But when God is using us, it becomes an entirely different value all together.
God is using me on this trip in many different ways. Ways I’m aware of and plenty of ways I’m unaware of. Will I sacrifice comfort, time and energy as result? For sure. Without a doubt. However, the joy that results is truly a joy that could only come from the Lord. It took less than day for me to realize that as long as I am being used, that I will be fine, and my heart will be opened to receive the full blessings that this trip has to offer.
We’re half way through now. Dad and I leave on Friday night. The work has been hard and the accommodations underwhelming, however, I already know that I will leave here saying that this is the best trip I’ve ever been on. Sharing this experience with Dad has been nothing short of precious. Not to mention, the time spent with my co-workers and Habitat friends. Compound that with being used to infuse God’s love into the families we are here serving and it simply does not get any better.
This time last week, I could hardly bear the thought of being in Argentina. One week later, I can hardly bear the thought of leaving. I changed my mind.